Why I Don’t Spank My Kids
- July 6, 2012
- by Melissa Lawrence
The web has been buzzing about a new study in the journal Pediatrics suggesting a possible link between physical punishment during childhood and the onset of mental disorders later in life. Although many people in my generation were spanked, my husband and I don’t use ANY physical forms as ways to discipline our children.
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Is spanking your kids an effective form of punishment?
This, just like almost everything else when it comes to parenting, is a completely personal choice. My husband and I choose not to use spanking as a punishment because when our children have done something wrong, I want my message to get out. I want them to understand what they did wrong, and I want them to hear my WORDS. Even though there are times when I lose my temper and wish that I could have taken it down a notch, words are words, and that’s how I want my message to come out.
When we have disciplinary issues with our children, my husband and I find that behavior tends to improve once the child calms down. I think that physical punishment makes children more upset rather than calm, so it results in the opposite behavior of what we’re looking for. Also, we like to give timeouts as punishment for our kids because it gives them time to reflect and to calm down. When children are spanked, I feel like they don’t necessarily think about what they did wrong, but they really just focus on whether or not their punishment is over.
All parents think differently in terms of discipline for their children, so what do you think? Do you spank your children, and if so, does it seem to work for you? Share your stories and watch my video to let me know what you think!
Comments
yvanwyk
I am struggling with this concept as I believe that parents should always show a united front to their kids so as not to have the kids pit one against the other when it comes to discipline.
I am dead against spanking kids as I have worked in the field of special needs and it is so counter productive. My husband however seems to have spanking as a knee jerk reaction and I think he often regrets spanking as soon as it is over.
We have very intense discussions regarding this when we are out of earshot of the kids but it doesn’t seem to stop his threats of spanking and sometimes a follow through when in the heat of the moment with our 2 year old.
Any suggestions on how to curb my husbands behavior so that our little girls get discipline with love from him.