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    well i too don’t agree to reward them , but once in the blue moon can be done . all the while….actually serious matter as they grow

    Melissa Lawrence

    I agree… it’s all a balancing act, sometimes I can’t make it through bedtime without small rewards… you can like ideas in the abstract but that doesn’t mean they work in actuality!


    I just found your site, and I love what you have to say! Anyway, I don’t believe in paying for grades either. We have one child who struggles with school, and another that excels at everything she does. When I was in school, we had “BUG” awards, which meant bringing up grades. I make my own “BUG” awards for the one who works hard and does his best, because I think improvement is just as important as excelling. For the other one, everything she touches turns to gold. She is smart and athletic and she knows it and she can get snarky about it. We do congratulate her on her achievements, but we also try to keep her bragging in check. What makes things tough is that my “average” boy is 2 years older, so now he has an “I could care less” attitude about everything. That’s what makes his BUG awards so important, and we make sure he knows that he has his talents too. He is kind, very good at making friends, and really helpful in the kitchen. He likes to help cook, and his concoctions are really good. So every time the recipe was his idea, I make sure he knows how tasty it is. I think verbal and written rewards are much more helpful than money or more stuff, and there is a lot more to the world than scholastic achievement. Also our household does not need more stuff!