Dealing with A Mean Child
- April 28, 2014
- by Melissa Lawrence
Happy Monday, guys! Hope you had a great weekend. Finally, Spring here … but I still don’t trust it and I’m using that as an excuse not to change the kids closets over yet from winter to spring (ha ha procrastination!). I did finally Spring clean under my bed for the first time in (um) a few years, but that’s another story.
OK, so get to the point, Melissa! This video is not about bullying, nor mean girls, nor mean kids that might affect your kids. Rather, today’s video is about dealing with meanness in your OWN kids. Embarrassing to admit, but of course it happens.
A few weeks ago we had a little event in our house, which was not a happy one. I was taking my two girls to see Frozen (I know, finally) at a movie theater around the corner and one says to the other “you’re not my sister.” It was the second time that child had said this and smoke was coming out of my ears, I was SO upset.
What’s your advice for dealing with mean children?
Gentle Discipline for Toddlers
The notion of disciplining your toddler is sort of odd to me instinctively, because toddlers are so young. I try to talk to my kids and encourage them to be sensitive and kind to others. Meanwhile, I really do believe in showing even a young child the difference between right and wrong. I want my children to know how good it feels to be kind, and how bad it feels to be unkind. Kindness is probably my biggest priority for my kids, which is why when this comment came upon us, I was stunned, angry, and frustrated.
To see how I reacted when my child said this mean thing, watch today’s video. And please tell me whether you think I was right or wrong! Would love your view.
xo Melissa
Comments
Lauren
I’ve been dealing with “meanness” from both my boys who are 2 and 5, almost 3 and 6. It has been escalating as I think my 5 year old has been very jealous and feels left out ever since his little brother was born. I try my hardest to give my 5 year old his own time with me without my other son around but it doesn’t seem to matter how much undivided attention I give him, he still says means things to us and his little brother. He is a very sensitive boy and is very smart so he knows just what to say or do to push everyone’s buttons when he is upset. I have tried talking to him, time outs and taking things away but it hasn’t improved. And now it has taught my little guy how to be mean and he has also started saying these mean things. I am trying to persist with emphasizing what they are doing is not acceptable and I hope it will subside.
I think what you did was absolutely the right thing. It, obviously, made an impact as your daughter acknowledged her wrong doing later on. I wish it was that easy with older kids. I feel toddlers can be more easily persuaded to see why something is inappropriate and older kids use it more as a way for attention which is more difficult to correct.
If you have any suggestions of how to deal with meanness in older children please let me know!
Linda
I think what you did was right. A child shouldn’t continue to receive privileges when they are not respecting the family those privileges come from.
I am sure she has figured out not to say unnice things.