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    Mom Guilt: Feeling Torn Between My Five Kids | CloudMom

    […] Involving Older Children With a New Baby […]


    I have a 7 wk old and a 19 mo. When i brought little sister home big sister was very jealous. She still has fits at least once a day. One thing ive taught Mia to do that seems to help is to call her “Sissy” and pat her gently on the head. She loves playing with her dolly and copying my motions also, such as tucking it into the bouncer with blankets

    My SIL also suggested Melissa’s tip of involving her in baby care by asking her to get things for me while im nursing. She has 4 young children. If i win Plum Organics i will give the gift certificate code to her.


    We recently had our third child. My 4 and 3 year olds have been on completely differ ends of the spectrum. The oldest wants to be involved in every aspect while the 3 year old really has no additional time for the newest member.

    One thing we have done that really helps get the girls involved is singing songs in his room while we put away clothes. This may seem small but has become one of the highlights to the day. It helps me because things are still getting done and the baby is hearing his sisters and responding to their voices.

    Sometimes, if I don’t have many diapers to put away that day, we just take a load of our clothes into his room just so we don’t miss the fun!!


    Involving the other child in simple tasks makes them feel important. “You’re such a big girl and great helper!” (Getting a diaper, putting away laundry, putting bottle in dishwasher when finished with baby)

    Giving my daughter a baby doll on the same day she met her little sister. She then can do the same things mama does with baby, like changing diaper, feeding, etc.

    Always try to give the older one some mama (or daddy) time alone. I think this is very important.


    My son is 7 so I was worried how he would react to his baby sister after being the only child for so long. He had shown jealousy towards a younger cousin so I feared it would be the same. Boy was I wrong! From the time she was growing in my belly he adored her! What made the transition easy for him? Well, I would have to say involvement! We started involving him from the time we found out we were pregnant. He was so proud that he was going to be a big brother he went around telling everyone “mommy peed on a thermometer and now were having a baby!” LOL We read stories to my belly, read books about babies, and talked about what it would be like a lot. Children love to be helpful at this age so he helped with everything from decorating the nursery to putting the crib together. He even practiced changing cloth diapers on his stuffed monkey and dressing it in her clothes. When she was born he came to the hospital and was in love from first sight. We made sure to have a gift for him waiting “from his sister” which included a special memory book. He wore a Big Brother shirt proudly. Now she is ten months old and he continues to be nothing but loving and protective of her. Nobody can make her laugh like her big brother and nothing makes me prouder than to see their love for each other! So, my best advice=communication, making sure to take the time everyday to let your older one know how special they are, no matter how busy you are with the baby and letting them help!


    When pregnant we involved our 3 yr old in everything we could think of that involved baby even if just in a small way. Some of these were picking out a security item, shopping for items we still needed. And talking a lot about how she can help mommy with baby and how exciting it is for her to be a big sister. Then once baby came we made a big deal out of anything she does to help ie. “your such a good big sister” or “wow you are such a big help, thank you”. I kept having people say just wait till she realizes he isn’t going anywhere and starts lashing out. Maybe I got lucky and maybe it’s because of what I mentioned above but that never happened and even though they are 3 yrs apart they r so unbelievably close!


    Having a 2-month-old and a 26-month-old I don’t have that much advice but rather am in need of ideas on involving my older child and smoothing out the transition! We did do a lot of talking about and to the baby during my pregnancy and we took the sibling hospital tour before the baby was born to familiarize our oldest with the facility. That all seemed to help. Also, when she first came to the hospital room after the birth I made sure to NOT have the baby in bed with me but to just greet her with open arms and catch up for a sec before introducing her to the baby. She was ecstatic when she realized the baby was in the room and wanted to hold her and didn’t want anyone else to take her! Since coming home she has been very sweet with her sister but does want a lot of attention from mommy and I just feel I don’t have enough time or arms for everyone! I’ve tried sticking to her routine as much as possible (still going to playground, playdates, etc) so she doesn’t feel her life has been turned upside down too much!


    My kids have always been a part of their sibs birth & never had any sibling rivalry or jealousy. They rubbed my back, gave me sips of H2O between ctx, marking times, when pushing starts, when head is out, when whole baby is out, when the placenta comes, when (s)he 1st nurses, etc. let an older sib cut the cord, tandem nursing really helps them accept the new member too.


    My son was 14 months old when I brought a baby girl home. Coop was so helpful, even at such a young age. He was jealous of Ariadne, but as long as I gave him extra attention when I was not breastfeeding her, he was content enough to allow me that time with her. Even now that she is 13 months old and he is 27 months, he looks out for her so sweetly by telling me when she has something she shouldn’t (usually a foreign object in her mouth!) or by picking up and giving her back the sippy cup she’s thrown yet again. She can scratch, pounce, or fall on him and he may protest verbally but never hits back. He loves to play peek-a-boo with her. Now that I have two toddlers and they both love yummy Plum products, I would love to win $15 in free product. Thanks for the giveaway!