Those Hands We Still Can Hold


The past few weeks have meant a lot of life changes in our family.  Can definitely feel a difference in the family dynamics.

Those Hands We Still Can Hold

Hedley started Middle School and now carts a rolling red backpack back and forth to school.

Hedley-with-backpack

Annalise started Kindergarten across town — I’ve been bringing her to school but today she took the bus for the first time.

Annaliese

And Marielle is now in her second year of pre-school, out of the house from 9-12 each morning.

Marielle

The house is so quiet – it feels so strange!

We also have a new au pair from France — she’s lovely and has blended right into our family.

So there’s been a lot of change.

But the biggest change this Fall has been in the kids holding hands department!  Walking down the street has always proved challenging for Marc and me because the kids would fight over who got to hold Mommy and Daddy’s hands.

In years past, Marc devised a logical system to deal with this, since he usually walks the boys to their school which is just 3 blocks away.  He alternated, dividing the blocks up between the boys evenly.

I tried to do the same, never quite ironing out the kinks, and inevitably encountered some huffing and puffing by the one who did not get to hold Mommy’s hand.

But in the past mornings, we’re now over this hurdle with our two oldest boys.  In fact, we’ve jumped clear of the hurdle.  This morning I offered my hand to two of the boys, but only Beckett took me up on it.  Beckett’s hand holds a special place in my heart because it’s still squishy like a little kid’s.  So I was so happy I had that hand.

holding-Becketts-hand

But that was the only hand I got!

“I’m OK, Mom”, Hedley nodded.  He strode down the street about five feet to my left.

Lachlan just shook his head ‘no’ and started walking a few paces to my right.

Were they trying to pretend they were walking alone?  Are we already in the “parents are embarrassing” department?

Get to school, and the hugging and goodbyes were starkly different than last year’s.  As I put Beckett where he needed to be, he threw his arms around me.  Turn around and Lachie and Hedley were gone, vanished — I had no idea how they got away so fast.

So no more hands, no more good-byes…

The house while they are gone feels empty and quiet in a way that’s uncomfortable for me, and I’m always looking forward to picking them up in a few hours… a self-declared control freak, I’ve grown accustomed and addicted to all the chaos, noise and disorder?

And I’m not giving up on the hugs.  I’m just going to look forward to having more of them at home, where big boys can still be little boys and thankfully, Moms can still have their babies.

There will always be room for your hand in mine.

Hope all of you are getting plenty of hugs today!

Love,

M xo

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