Why I’m a Mean Mom
- July 1, 2013
- by Melissa Lawrence
Summertime this year came with my annual reflections on how we do things in my family when it comes to our family beds. We’re away with less space so we’re doubling up and I’ve got my two oldest in my room. My boys are literally begging me to share my bed. I’m still saying no. Plus I’m being really mean! Watch this video for why!
Should I Go For The Co Sleeping Bed?
I’ve said many times that I wonder whether I’m missing out on something magical and wonderful but not having a family bed where the kids share the night with us. I’ve also listed all of the reasons why I don’t co sleep. Pretty soon, they likely won’t want to go near me with a 10-foot pole, so why am I not taking advantage of their wanting to cuddle with me now?
In this video, I go into some of the sibling rivalry issues in my family and why they cause me to hold back from co-sleeping.
What is your view of children sleeping with parents? Share your thoughts below!
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Comments
marlenecpm
I am a firm believer in the family bed. 1st, the baby sleeps between My husband & I. I realize that this is not the *approved* way to sleep with your baby, but it is quite safe as long as: neither parent has had sleep apnea, alcohol, sleeping pills or any other drugs, legal or otherwise that induce a deeper than normal sleep. Baby sleeps better if they can hear moms heartbeat just like they did in the womb. I only caution that nursing on & off all night is a bad habit to get in to, it can cause teeth to rot, same as sleeping with a bottle. When baby is finished nursing, I turn over to discourage this habit & to give toddler a chance to nurse when they want, they do go much longer between nursings though. When I feel baby fidgeting, I turn back & nurse again.
Nursing toddler sleeps on other side of me. I breastfed each for 3 yrs. Any one else who wants to cuddle gets on the outside of either my or my husbands side. Bed gets a little crowded, older kids, who are on the outside get pushed out of bed, they eventually give up & go to their own bed to sleep. Everyone has their own bed, no one is ever forced to sleep in their own bed, nor forced to sleep in the family bed. Their choice, but youngest gets best spot.
Now this may not sound like the recipe for a good nights sleep, but it worked for us. I actually get better sleep if I don’t have to get up or even wake up to nurse at night. Don’t have as many hollers in the night from older kids either, if they know instead of hollering for you to come to them, they can just crawl up to bed with you for comfort whenever needed.
BTW, I have 7 adult well adjusted grown up kids & 14 grandkids, & for the record 0 that are not well adjusted.
Melissa Lawrence
Marlene hats off to you for having 7 super kids and 14 grandkids, way to go!! Clearly, they felt very supported emotionally… sending love your way, xoxo Melissa
Amanda Carney
we don’t cosleep either. I will for naptime with my 2 year old occasionally, but it’s because her and her sister just got a shared a room in preparation for when we decide to have another child. And if I try to make them nap at the same time, neither of them end up sleeping. Also, when we have a newborn, if they refuse to sleep and I’m exhausted or they want to nurse constantly, then I allow them to sleep with me. I don’t want to start a bad habit and in my view, it’s a bad habit. It would put a strain on my marriage if we didn’t have that “time” before bed in bed. not just the sex part, but being able to just talk and have an adult conversation without having to edit or whisper.
Melissa Lawrence
Amanda, that adult time for us is key too: we talk about our days and what needs to happen next, we collect ourselves… it works for us.
Generosa
I think co-sleeping in a family bed is the best way to nurse and cuddle with baby. If you don’t want to be closest to your babies why have them? They will soon leave you. enjoy them wanting you it is only for a very short while.